I have beaten myself up time and time again with this idea
of being “lost”.
Not the kind of lost where you are physically out of place,
with no sense of direction. The other
kind. The mental kind of lost. The kind of lost that you’re just wandering
around in your head, having no clue where you’re going or in some cases… what
you’re doing.
With all the opportunities that we’re constantly swarmed
with; college degrees, masters degrees, doctorates, internships I believe we
have been a little brainwashed with this
terrible idea that when we don’t have a distinct point A to point B direction we
are defined as “lost”.
I think I have been on a mission since I was younger. A mission to see all the world has to offer,
and be passionate in each experience. I
have always said “Yes” to new experiences and opportunities. In fact, I am
known in my family for the line “What did I get myself into?”. I have always wanted it all. To see it, try it, and experience it.
To jump in, and see where it takes me. I may be a little
older but my mind is just as wild.
These opportunities have taken me to new places, introduced
me to new people, given me new prospective, and have planted within me a desire
to pursue new things. I’ll admit, my
mind is a little hard to keep up with.
When I returned from California, after my summer job with
CrossFit HQ, I met with an old friend to catch up over a couple beers. What was meant to be “catching up”, quickly
turned into “let’s question all Hannah has done”.
I got asked things like “What are you running from?” or “Can
you identify yourself? Do you know who you are?”. They questioned why I keep running, and where
I intended on going? They asked if I was
looking for myself because I’m not happy with who I am. To them, it was just questions. To me, it was insulting.
My responses boiled down to a simple answer… it’s called curiosity
and passion. It has taken me all
over!
There is beauty in
curiosity.
There is also risk and uncertainty in curiosity. However, why is this a bad thing? Think of everything around us. We are rooted to question. It is tied to our tradition of being a human.
Think about it. We now know the earth is not flat, we know why objects fall and
are drawn to each other, we know vaccines that can prevent life changing
illnesses, and everyday we are making more discoveries that are changing life
as we know it. But how?
Questioning. Passion.
Curiosity.
Discoveries start because of the people that have
imaginations that are taking them all over the world. It is because people see an opportunity and
run to it. It is because people see a
problem and are driven to seek an answer.
It is because of minds that do not sit still and are on a mission to
create. Minds that are not afraid of being considered “lost”.
So, I believe this term “lost” should be given a different
phrase. Perhaps… “Passionately Curious”
is a better representation of it.
As I sat and was questioned about “running away” and “trying
to find myself”, I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. Ya see, this isn’t running away. It is a journey of pursuing my curiosity and passion, and it
involves a series of checks and balance.
I know who I am which is why I am able to leave home to
pursue a passion. I know my values which
is why I am able to surround myself with new people everyday, no matter how
different they may be. I know where I
came from which is why I am always ready to grow through each experience. It is because I know exactly who I am that I
am taking on bigger opportunities and have always sought more in everything I
do. Because no matter what the
opportunity may bring, it will always take me back to my roots of who I am
while teaching me along the way.
So sure, maybe I can not tell you a specific direction I am
headed and hell, my personal compass must of broke because I don’t even know
which way I am going sometimes but I know for certain who I am, and what I am
about.
I am Hannah Chesley.
I am a whole 5 foot 2 inch body compacted of enough passion and
curiosity to move mountains and I am not
lost – I am simply on my way.